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Find Your Freedom Series Episode Fourteen: Climb Out Of The Crab Bucket
Hello this is Michelle Barr bringing you my Find your Freedom series, another episode I've got a few more for you in the Find your Freedom series that I have been doing for you all summer.
I want to talk to you about something today that I was told early on that has stuck with me and continued to help me so many times. I want to talk to you about this, when people undermine your dreams, predict your doom or criticize you. Remember, they're telling you their story, not yours. You think well people would do that and you've had experiences of that. It's actually a psychological process that's going on and it's pretty predictable.
So I want you to be aware of it. I just had another new client the other day all week long now that she's finally decided to do this was kicking up is: what will people think, what will people say? If she got programmed and conditioned with what will the neighbors think? What will people think? What will people say? You've got to be proper and right and you've got to stay in the tribe. Stay in the community, stay in the society, stay in the culture. Yet people who do what we do and who are called to step out with a message and with our gifts, we are not meant for this. But it can kick up in us.
It can be difficult to break through those things. The more she talked about it, the more I can see the inner work that was gonna have to happen for her to really break through to those goals. So putting off and putting off what you desire, what you want and what you need. This is what's going on that's running the show and it's a part of you inside and it's why this inner work is so integral and so powerful.
I love the story, one of my coaches told me and it has really stuck with me. In fact, I use it as an example for where people are stuck because so many can identify with it. I observed this all the time with people in my community and with my clients and students. Have you ever watched crabs in a bucket? She asked me .The bucket does not have a tarp on it and yet the crabs are not able to escape.
Now if there is only one crab in the bucket, it can and will escape easily. However, when there are many crabs in the bucket, as soon as one crab tries to escape by climbing out, the other crabs will grab hold of it and pull it back down into the bucket to share the mutual fate of the rest of the group. Really get this, this is an example of nature that can be translated into human nature. It is wired into us as humans in our DNA in our earliest times generationally, and in the human experience.
There was a time when we could not survive outside of the tribe that we were born into or brought into. So it is inside of you this impulse. Stay with the tribe stay within the norms of the tribe, be like the tribe and yet there were always trailblazers and naysayers and risk takers, and that's how so much forward movement that's how humans have grown and developed over time, but this is still in us and it can kick up in you.
This whole thing about not being able to survive without the tribe. Now we can go out and we can create our own tribes. Those of us who are meant to really step out with a message in our gifts, we are meant to become the leaders of new tribes. At the same time you want to make sure you have support and guidance with an empowering and supportive tribe and plugging into other tribes. But being aware of this, if ever you tried to climb up and look over the side of that bucket, and the other crabs pulled you back down. As you begin to get the urge for a fuller experience of life and a fuller expression of yourself when you respond to the calling and make the choice to step onto this path to take the first step of the journey.
Often you find there are those who are not there to support you. I'll tell you here what was surprising is do not waste time and energy trying to figure it out because across the board, some of the people you think will be there for you will not and some of the people you think would be a problem and not be for you or about it can surprise you in a positive way. I have people racking their brains, okay, I'm finally going to get out there on social media. I'm finally going to get out there on Facebook. So should I go through my whole list and unfriend the people that I think are going to have a problem and I say no. I'm telling you I use Facebook for my business.
I get most of my clients through Facebook and I have for years and yet I started Facebook like many of us who use Facebook connecting with people I know that I wanted to stay connected with or reconnect with. Actually I first started Facebook unknowingly how important it would become to my business because I wanted to spy on my children. Then I found the powerful tool that it is and yet I will tell you I am connected with people from high school, even from middle school. I am connected to people from churches I belong to, from children's organizations that my children grew up in, from neighborhoods from jobs and lots of family and lots of friends all the way around and then friends of my husband and family of my husband and friends that are connected to my kids.
All of that I would have made myself crazy and I would have done myself a disservice. Had I tried to figure it all out. Because I have been both unpleasantly surprised but not a lot and very pleasantly surprised and that's what it's about the people that I'm meant to reach, let them unfriend me. I always let people know when they friend me on facebook or they want to and it's not related to my business and that part of my world. I use Facebook for my business. You may find some inspirational and motivational things there and many do because I show up on Facebook every single day, motivating, inspiring, educating, informing, talking to people, engaging with people and so you don't have to really be about the business part to appreciate it.
But I have gotten clients out of some of those people that were very surprising. And that's what it's about. I get out there visible with my message and my gifts and I touch people and it's up to them if they want to move on, or stay in my world. If they want to work with me in some way along the way. I have had people connected to me on Facebook, commenting, watching my stuff, saying they're going to work with me asking me what that would look like for 10 years.
Sometimes before they hire me Do not try to self-select. The only time I will select people out of my world on social media is if they are inappropriate. Otherwise I let them stay and they don't even have to agree with everything. Because it gives me the opportunity to dialogue. Only if they're inappropriate and it's going to affect my community and my business. Even I'm telling you even if sometimes I get offended if it's done in an appropriate way. I'm okay because I'm all about that.
I have a story I tell some of my clients sometimes to show you just how far reaching this can be and it's kind of a fun story. When my husband and I were younger, we are big fans of Jimmy Buffett and we are big fans of Jimmy Buffett's music and his whole culture and community which is called Parent Heads. We belong to a local club with our some of our other friends the parent heads. We traveled with them, we went to concerts, we listen to music, and it's a very laid back community. It's also a lot around music and travel and partying.
There's a lot of partying, it's part of that culture. During that time some people from the parent heads connected with me on Facebook and so I just allowed them to be there as long as they wanted to be there. I have had more than one of them. Hire me. Now that just shows you an example of where I would have never thought I would be. The demographic for that or that would be what they were about. That connection was so different there I was with my gifts and my message when somebody was searching and really in need.
There was already that element of know like and trust and others I've just been a resource for over time. You get out there visible with your message. So there are those people that are not going to be there to support you and others who are those that are not there to support you they often have their own agenda. That's why you don't want to just ask anybody's advice should I do this? Do you think this will work? Because anybody who is energetically connected to you is not objective. They all have a stake. They all have their skin in the game and they all have a personal agenda and some people just are very invested in you staying the same.
I want you to get that. I want you to really let that land. They want you to stay in the pocket. They want you to be quiet and stop it and don't grow and don't make changes and don't rock the boat. And a lot of them frankly, that are part of this dynamic. They've got you right where they want you and they benefit from your loose boundaries or they benefit from your over giving and they benefit from you being so selfless and all of these things and for you putting yourself last and not following your own desires. Some people are very invested in having you stay the same.
It takes support and guidance to climb out of the bucket to make a choice and commitment to yourself to be a conscious creator. This is the perfect time to begin plugging into supportive and like minded communities and getting connected with coaches and mentors and teachers and masterminds. I haven't been without any of that since 2009. It has allowed me to keep living this life and doing my work. Perhaps you've been very well socialized to live a normal life. Yet something is calling you to be more, do more and have more may have been calling you for a very long time or you shut it out and then it comes back. I totally can relate to that.
The standards being set in our world today often speak to the path of mediocrity. Playing it safe,
live by this set of rules, norms and expectations and you will get by this way of living limits your growth the reaching of your highest potential and the creation of your best life. It limits your greatness. Those who respond to the calling of their higher self toward all they desire discover something. They discover their authentic selves. Make a choice to expand beyond existing to evolve and excel.
They take action to create a life they love, the life of their dreams. They're not going to be pulled back down into that crab bucket one more time. As you move into higher consciousness, connecting with your truth becomes a stronger call. When you are in alignment with your truth and begin to spend more of your time and energy consciously creating your life flows.
You begin to attract to you everything you need. Things begin to come together more easily and effortlessly. Call it synchronicity, call it miracles, move out of pain and frustration. Out of feeling trapped or stuck out of a life that no longer serves you and feels like it no longer fits. Learn to use your energy to move into the life you desire. Something that is more in alignment with living your truth. Who are you showing up as the crab in the bucket shaming others who go for their greatness while hiding behind your own spirituality? I hope that's not you but it could be or it could have been at one time or it could be the other people in your life right now or one of the crabs who has climbed out of the bucket and is finding your way through this entrepreneurial hero's journey.
So you climb out of the bucket, what next? How do you get your dreams out of your head and into the world. It takes third dimensional action to create third dimensional results. It takes massive third dimensional action to create massive third dimensional results. The first thing that you do is you get into inspired aligned action. You act and your next step is the one that most people get stuck at and many do not move forward at this point. Often for many, many years, sometimes for a lifetime. You must take new action to get new results. Learn to Read the feedback. Do your work in the invisible third dimensional world and allow the universal energy to work with you and for you. Energy healing works in the fifth dimension. The fourth dimension is where we work with our thoughts and feelings.
When we stop here we are rich inner world that is not reflected in our outer world. Been there done that, rich inner world not reflected in our outer world. We long to escape more and more into this world. So our physical world can use to deteriorate. At some point we begin to lose the ability to create what we need to meet our basic needs. Classic broke healer. I've seen it over and over and over again. It's part of the reason I've been doing the work I've been doing with this message for so long.
We are left longing for love, money, relationships, fulfilling work, a home that is our sanctuary and other worldly things that continue to elude us. That's why we need to move into action. But not just any action. Remember I talked about this a lot, not just the busy busy, busy doing doing doing. It's learning to clear our mental and emotional clutter. You're always receiving information one of two ways. Inspiration or programming and conditioning, inspiration or information. You have to clear the mental and emotional clutter so you can receive the inspiration and start taking inspired aligned action. Once you receive either inspiration or information you always have two choices, and you have a choice point in every moment. The action you take from that choice point creates the energy that ripples out and creates the things that show up in our physical world. You're either responding or you're reacting and you're reacting when you're triggered from your trauma, from your drama, from your programming, from your conditioning. This is the work and it starts with recognizing what's happening to you when you're finally ready to get out of that crab bucket and understanding this is just part of it.
I love showing up here to inspire and motivate you and give you things to think about really reflect on this you can get all of my episodes of the Working for Spirit podcast at workingforspiritpodcast.com. I have my very first book. I wrote a mindset for manifesting on purpose. It's free to you right now at michellebarr.com/book. You can go get that now and if you want my new book, #SoulTeach: Your Guide to manifesting what you need, want and desire. You can get that directly from Amazon at soulteachbook.com. It's a 365 day book. Imagine that I take pieces of what you're hearing on this podcast and pieces of what I'm putting out there on Facebook and other social media and I give you one bite a day for a whole year.
Imagine what can happen as you heal and transform yourself. Your life and your world. Stay connected with me facebook.com/Michellebbarr. I'm so excited to be connected to you and I will talk to you again soon. Thank you so much.