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Find Your Freedom Series Episode Ten: Holding Steady While It All Goes to Hell
Hello, and welcome to the Working for Spirit podcast. This is Michelle Barr and we are still doing our Find your Freedom series. I've got more to bring you today. You can find the entire series and the whole podcast from beginning up until now a lot of great teaching and training, several special training series at workingforspiritpodcast.com.
Today I want to talk to you about something that's super important. Something I had to learn really early on. It's not the most fun thing to talk abou but when I talk about it, I get a lot of Aha’s and insight and powerful tools for my clients to use where suddenly things make sense.
Our mind when things start going wonky or not, as we expected, can really confuse us and then our mind races to make up reasons for things happening. But your mind is a tool and it's a computer and it can only go back and grab whatever it's already known.
So unfortunately it creates bringing up old patterns, old habits, old habits based on your own limiting beliefs and it makes up stories and then you believe those stories and then it can stop you in your tracks.
I call today's talk, Holding steady while it all goes to hell. I want to talk to you about this and I really want you to get it. It has been one of my most life-saving, life-changing, game-changing tools. So get ready for your big Aha and to apply this in your life in a powerful and practical way. Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket? Ugh! It always makes me sad when I have a client right there at a breakthrough. Who knows what shows her next appointment. I know that means she's right there doing the work and things are changing. But she doesn't always know that.
She is knee deep, sometimes neck deep in the discomfort in the pain. That's where I meet you the most suddenly feeling like she's fighting for her life. In this moment, nothing could be more appealing than going back to the familiar and numbing out. You know those times you can't even explain it logically to yourself or you can only see it in hindsight, where the pressure of all the energies and the pressure of what's popping up, send you running back to what is safe and comfortable. Even though it no longer serves you and it's often not good for you at all. It's certainly not moving you toward what you say you want most right this moment.
I want you to understand right this moment. Everything in your world exists because it is an energetic match to you. Really get there it is in alignment with your energy, the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it is in the mix. When you change your energy shifts and everything and everyone around you respond to it. You see where I'm going here.
This can show up as people who suddenly start getting irritated or upset or being very emotional around you. Your children may act out, your pets might get sick. Things in your home may start breaking down. I have had all of these things happen to me. I find this particularly happens when I go away to a conference or a retreat. I'm going to tell you because it happened a lot more. Now, I'm aware of it and I do the work I need to. There's a lot that I teach you that I teach my clients and students that I learned because you don't have to learn all these lessons the hard way. You can learn them with grace and ease and you can do the work. The energetic work first on the front end. But back, back, back, I didn't know. When I would go to a conference or a retreat where I'm doing a lot of inner work or up leveling or shifting into new awareness and insight.
One of these in particular back in the beginning of building and growing my business. I went to my big first live event which opened my eyes to people actually doing what I was feeling to being what I was visioning that I was being called to be and having what I wanted, needed and desired.
I attended a conference that changed me profoundly and literally shifted the path of my business as well. I started thinking bigger. I saw that what my mind could have comprehend and what I was building was not nearly what my soul and spirit had in mind for me. What would bring me the most abundance and fulfillment in my life.
When I came home from that trip, my husband was a wreck over a bunch of little things. One of my children was acting out and my dog was sick all night long upon my return. These things happened enough times to myself and others that I could really see. Within the next two weeks, two of my air conditioning units broke down and then my water heater went out. When I tell you all of that happened in a space of two weeks. I'm telling you that conference that changed the trajectory of my entire business in my entire life. It was that powerful. I happened to go with a friend of mine. We were business partners and friends and when she got home similar things were happening to her. We got on the phone. It's like “yeah, my husband's acting up, her husband had actually been acting up while we were still at the event”. They can pick up on our shifts and energy.
I also want to let you know while at the event we both had big money crafts show up and start happening while we were away from home. I mean, now I know we were totally on the right track because this was all a one to three doozy. During that time, these two weeks when you're shifting and changing and everything around you because it's in energetic alignment with you starts popping up out of alignment.
What you need to do most is often the most challenging thing to do. You need to hold your energy in that new space. You need to center and ground and stay while all chaos swirls around you. When you do that, you allow everyone and everything to resettle in new energetic alignment with you. You hold the change you have worked for. Just this what I'm getting ready to tell you that my coach told me and then I have gone on to tell my clients and students when you know it, you can work through it better and more fully.
If you can hold steady for two weeks, things will shift again in your favor and the payoff will arrive. You are not responsible but over the past. You're shifting and changing and growing and transforming and up leveling and expanding at all levels has on other people and what you will find when we're being really honest about it is a lot of people even an especially some very close to you who love you and would say they support you, do not really do well when you start changing who you are and who you are in relation to them.
They become at their own survival level. I really want you to get this at their own survival level, very invested in you staying the same. Let that land. So unfortunately what we often do and what I did for many years was I read this wrong, you read this wrong. You think I must not be meant to move in this direction. I'm obviously not supported by Spirit. God said no, my angel said not now. My timing is off. I should try again when everyone else is in a better space.
These are all false beliefs and limiting and self sabotaging and it will never work. I had a wonderful coach who taught me about this at the time I was going crazy in my world. She calls it dissonance. I also talked about it as resistance, as healing your crap as your stuff coming up. Once you know what it is, and you can expect it, you can be freer to move forward to use what is happening around you as tools for transformation.
My coaches help at that time was invaluable because of it. I have changed so much of my life over the years and created it like I wanted creating financial freedom, money freedom, time freedom, the freedom to have the spiritual journey of my dreams. The freedom to not have money, make my decisions, and to answer my calling over and over and over again. Which brings me more and more blessings oh, for an over and over again. Look, it can feel awful. I know.
But it doesn't have to when you don't know this you can get stuck. Just if you are coming into contact with your big dream.Have started setting intentions and goals for yourself and are beginning to really reach toward the good things like freedom, prosperity, abundance, health, wealth and success and ultimately, living an authentic life which is physically mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually.
You want more healthy for you with extreme happiness, then you begin to invest the commitment and effort and then you come to a screeching halt in the face of what shows up first. This causes you to lose momentum, wonder if it's worth it and fall back into what is comfortable and familiar and safe and there you are. Notice though that I said what comes first does come first. The stuff, that crap, but it's a necessary and integral part of the process. Once you understand it, you can use it to create magnificent results.
Now I know it's a beautiful sign that I am exactly where I'm meant to be doing exactly what I am meant to be doing. I take it as a sign that I got this. I am so close. It helps me keep going and so when my clients come to me and tell me that all hell has broken loose in their lives, we look at it together and I tell them you're doing the work. You're so close, maybe just Three feet From Gold. Keep going. Hold steady for a couple of weeks, center and ground.
Claim your new energetic space. Then allow everyone and everything else to come into new resonance with you. Don't let this part of the process get you stuck inaction. Use this part of the process of manifesting to get unstuck. Recover your momentum and to move powerfully into your greatest vision for your life. The highest and best version of you. That is where your happiness, your abundance and your fulfillment lies. I promise you.
Suddenly your path becomes clearer and a way opens for you and you can see the possibilities before you by learning to transform your resistance into powerful tools for transformation. You can move forward into allowing and receiving all that you desire and deserve. Overcome fear by moving from scared to sacred. I heard an interesting little story once about a man who had a dream that fear was chasing him. He ran and ran but to no avail.
Fear was riding on his heels. Finally exhausted, the man stopped running, turned fear dead in the face and said I give up. You got me. Now what are you going to do to me? To which fear softly responded? I haven't the slightest idea. This is your dream. One little shift is all it takes to begin to create profound, positive change in your life.
A small shift in thinking and then another and another until you are thinking new thoughts, doing things differently and being a greater version of you. Your new thoughts create new feeling which create new actions which create new results. Now you're in the positive spiral of transformation. Look at the word scared and it may feel like a huge drop. It may feel like a huge jump from being scared to creating sacred success.
The success that comes from making a living, doing something you love that creates a sense of significance in your life allows you to live your purpose to bring your vision, your mission, your dreams and your truth to the table. You create a lifestyle and a life you love that supports and sustains you. How about that? Scared and sacred, same letters. But when arranged differently, it makes all the difference. Imagine you're playing a game of Scrabble and you have all the letters in front of you A E C D R S. When you look at the letters, what do you see?
One person sees Scared another sees Sacred and you set about to build your word based on what you see and you play the game with it. Do you see it as more sacred or sacred than you said about based on what you see to build your world and then you play the game of life and business with it. So much of how you experience your life is perception.
Everything comes through a filter and that filter is you. It takes time and energy to begin to shift your mindset. At first it feels like work, something you have to pay attention to and then suddenly you're looking at the scrambled letters and seeing sacred more than scared and then you are seeing sacred almost all the time. Each person looks at the pieces of their own life and sees what they are expecting to see.
Each person you look at the pieces of your own life and see what you are expecting to see. Maybe you've heard FEAR. Our fear is just false evidence appearing real. Well, it's true. The problem with fear is that we have created a world in which we've lost the ability to use it as it was intended as a part of our feeling guidance system that puts us into fight or flight so we can fight the tiger in the bushes, kill it or run away. Instead we have created an endless supply of tigers in the bushes that we now have to deal with every day.
Our bodies stay in a constant fight or flight coping pattern and we burn ourselves out and become absolutely exhausted. Creating is challenging when we aren't able to begin from a vibration of joy and when we can't summon the creative energy we need. Fear is simply a form of resistance. Recognize it for what it is, then get clear, centered, focused and moving. Bring more joy into your life right now right away. If you're ready to move out of the fear that holds you back and move forward into a life of significance and success, to create sacred success for yourself.
Here are some things you can do. I call them 10 touchstones to freedom to step into who you are, and take that out into the world. I want you to recognize something else about fear. We are born with only two fears. A mentor taught me this and I have seen it to be true and I've seen it talked about and written about by a lot of people that says the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Everything else is programmed and conditioned into us. The other thing is they did some great scientifically backed studies where they measured fear and excitement in different people.
They set up the brain waves, the nervous system, all the vitals and fear and excitement. Can you believe it? They measure exactly the same in the body. So some people when confronted with a risk, a challenge and obstacle, desire, a dream and opportunity, experience fear and others experience excitement. I use this very fact to train myself to get up on stages, and then onto big stages and then even on two stages as a platform medium and a big stage speaker and an author and a teacher and turn that fear into excitement.
Recognize it for what it was 10 touchstones to freedom to step into who you are and take that out into the world.
Now I want to talk to you about doing your part in the trust fall. This is another one that I talk about a lot with my clients and students. It was another turning point in my own life. Pretty much everything I share with you. Yes I've had mentors and teachers and coaches, and I'm a lifelong learner and I go first. I have the experiences I learned from them. I don't bring you anything until I trust it completely and fully. Then I share it with you. It happens to me a lot. I get contacted by people I've heard from before.
I recognize them from my community. They may have come and heard me speak somewhere and they are attracted to what I have to offer them. Something in them is telling them that I can help. Yet they come and go and they never make a decision and they never commit. I may not see or hear from them for up to a year. Then they come back again. Still drawn, still speaking to their desires in threes and they asked me how, how around. Can I make this happen? I want to but I want to share with you what I responded to someone who contacted me not too long ago.
“Hi. It's great to hear from you. Here is what I have to tell you”. It is about making a decision and making a commitment to yourself watching for the opportunities to show up to create the means to make it happen.
As long as you are holding the energy and coming from the place of it. I will when you will continue to wait when you're holding the energy and you're coming from the place of I will win or win then you will continue to wait until the universe doesn't play the if when/then game. There just really is no substitute for deciding to do it. I remember hiring my first coach and being so scared how I was going to pay that every month? Where would it come from? But it did come every month and I have not been without a coach since 2009. Since that time. Let me know how I can serve you. Love and fire, Michelle. I see this so often and I really wish I had another answer.
I was searching for that answer myself for a long time. I wish I could really just tell you to just sit tight and the money will come streaming in when the universe feels you're ready. You tell the universe when you are ready. When the Spirit thinks you can handle it. If that desire exists within you, then the means to attain it is already here. It already exists. That is universal law. When things are better, when you are stronger. You get better and stronger by being in it by doing it and growing and evolving along with what you are creating. It is a totally organic process and you have to be engaged in it for it to work because the universe also only responds to true need.
Are you waiting until you're more prepared and make time for it to be cleared? Your major obligations don't have so much you need to do for everybody else. You will always have things in your life and stuff will always come up. These things show up over and over again in response as a match to the energy you are holding in your thoughts, beliefs, actions and repeated patterns. So what are you really waiting for?
I want to share with you an experience that I had in hopes that I can give you a true feel for what the energy feels like that will get you there until I had this experience. I didn't totally know myself. I want you to understand what energy you need to hold to make it happen. In my M.O.V.E process. I start everything with having you make a decision and then owning it 100% There is a reason for that. We're not talking about making that decision and owning it, that visualizing it and executing it MOVE.
I want to give you this example. It was so powerful and I love how God showed up. A friend of mine was doing this extreme competence boot camp, and I was one of the teachers in it. I love when I'm the teacher and of course I get to be the student and I get to be challenged. I get the opportunity to walk my talk. I actually love how that is and how that works. Part of this involved this ropes course and I found I had no fear about it. They had this two story building with this setup and you're up on tight ropes, your harness, zipline, you're walking on all these obstacles. I had no fear about any of that. Then there was this one thing I had tremendous fear and doubt about and it took me by surprise and that was the trust fall.
A big part of this kind of bootcamp is the way that you do anything is the way you do everything and it all shows up. You learn physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually really by going through these different exercises and working with that group is dynamic and your own individual dynamic. What you really feel in the world and how you show up in the world will show up in this experience. I surprised myself with this trust fall. It just terrified me.
It was beautiful because we did it right before I was to teach this exact thing that I'm presenting now. Divine Intelligence is divine. I give this talk all the time all over about mastering the art of taking action, about making a decision, the importance of committing fully to it and supporting yourself 100%. Today I was giving this talk. So the instructor said it's time for the trust fall. Basically everyone in your group is standing in two lines facing each other and just holding out their arms. We were a group of mostly women that day.
There are the steps leading up to this platform and you are going to climb up the steps. Turn your back to the group and they've created this cradle with their arms and you are going to fall backwards into their arms very quickly. I realized several things. I told you I'm a huge risk taker. I don't mind taking risks but the risks I take I'm counting on myself. I know I have everything I need and I have everything in place. So this felt to me like a risky risk. I can't even see the people I don't know if they're going to catch me.
I believe they have the intention to touch me. I trust them that much. But I don't know if they want to. I don't know if they can. Can you begin to see how this might have played out first in my early life. Then continued as I carried this energy with me. I've been bonding with them all day.
I don't know if they can catch me and I don't know if I want to count on that. Suddenly it was a risk I did not want to take. I'm falling backwards into the Unknown. All these things started coming up for me and when I started teaching this material afterwards, it all came together. I want you to think about this. I let a lot of people go ahead of me not knowing if I would even do this at all and when they told me it was my turn, “Michelle, you're doing this”. I had not yet made the decision at that moment.
Part of it was that pressure of I'm getting ready to teach these people something all eyes are on me. It was a beautiful chance for me to be vulnerable in a powerful way and make it a teaching moment while I was experiencing myself. It will happen over and over again the minute you put yourself out there as a leader but teacher or coach, healer you will have the opportunity to grow yourself first you can count on it.
So at this moment I made the decision to go up those steps. I still did not know if I was truly going to do this. My mind was on overdrive. You don't have to do that, you can leave now. Some part of me was thinking about running out of this building screaming. I didn't know if I had it in me and it was catching me by surprise. But there comes a point where you have to make a decision. This is the part I really want you to understand. Climbing up those steps. I was saying yeah, there are going to be some consequences if I choose not to do this.
Nothing bad is going to happen to me. But I really want to come through for myself. I really want to do this. I feel like I need to do it. You need to get comfortable with getting uncomfortable to move forward and that is something I'm always telling my clients and students so guess why drinking my own medicine again. I have to walk my talk. They were all getting uncomfortable in all kinds of ways throughout the day. This was my moment.
When you get to the top, you turn away from the crowd and they have given you this very specific way. You have to stand and here's the goal. You have to cross your arms. You have to strain your body. Your legs have to be a certain way and your feet and you assume this position before you fall. I had to make a decision and own it 100% And then I had to visualize myself doing it. And then it's time to execute it. All of this happened in a matter of minutes. There is no room for second guessing or self-doubting that comes before you make the decision. Because once you make the decision and you start that momentum backwards, which is you start the action if you come out of that position. You're going to hurt the people who are trying to help you. You're going to hurt yourself and it becomes dangerous. perfect setup for me. It was a moment where once I made the decision, I had to support myself 100%. Do you see there's no way to stop myself once I set this in motion. I knew that I could feel it. The moment I got into this position and I said in a moment, I am going to fall backwards. I cannot stop myself. Once I start falling I cannot say oh not doing this. And if I let anything get my way especially my mind and I come out of the position. I'm going to hurt people that are trusting me and I'm going to get hurt. I took so much from that about this moving forward work I'm teaching you now what a great way to really get impacted it had on me. I think of that every time I'm going to make a decision now. Then I own it 100% visualize it and execute it 100% As if there is no turning back and no, stop stopping there. You gotta do it at 100%. If you come in and out of it, it's damaging. It's damaging to you. It's damaging to the other people involved. It's damaging to the energy that has crushed in the sport.
Why you went and everything you did in that moment. Without all the push pull energy, then out energy, a stopping and starting energy. I really want you to think about the commitment. If commitment is an issue for you. If it feels scary, if you can't hold it for a long period of time. Commit for an hour, commit for 24 hours. Just start committing and stick with it. This is a whole topic for another day. But once you're in this stance, decisions become easier.
Now is the time to start. Wherever you are, whatever your life and world are about right now. You will know what your next steps are, synchronicities will begin to occur. If you open up to them. Someone will show up and open you up and positively charge you and you will have the opportunity to step into it. Take a breath. Thank you so much for being here with me today.
This is such an important and powerful teaching. I was led to share with you today by
workingforspiritpodcasts.com has all the resources for you and I want to give you two more resources. The first one is free. It is my very first book and now I've made it available to you for free. If you go to michellebarr.com/book . The second is my new book. It's a 365 day book that gives you one short lesson every day, soulteachbook.com that takes you right to Amazon The book is called #SoulTeach: Your Guide to Manifesting what you Need, Want and desire. These are ways for you to start pouring into what you need for your own life, for your own business, for your own sacred success and remember the 21 day free email sequence for you to move forward in any area of your life and intuitivesuccesscoach.com.
Thank you so much. This is Michelle Barr. I'm so glad you're here with me and I can't wait to come back for more of my Working for Spirit podcast: Find your freedom series.