Listen in on today’s It's Yours Now! Series Episode Two on this podcast episode. Doing Life Your Way with Epic Results Welcome to Dr. Michelle Barr's Podcast! Dr. Barr is a Manifestation Expert and Spiritual Life Coach, Speaking life back into you. She is a Spiritual Entrepreneur, Teacher, Speaker, and Author. Consider this your safe place to land and your Next Level Upgrade.
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It's Yours Now! Series Episode Four: Are You Willing to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You?
Hello, I am Michelle Barr, and welcome to my "Loving What's Next" podcast found at lovingwhatsnextpodcast.com. In this new series I have created for you, we’re just getting started with the "It's Yours Now" series.
My podcast is broken down into lots of teachings and trainings that I create as series. You can go and look up my podcast, find whatever series you want, and work your way through it. A lot of them are based on my different books, and others are on my body of work. This one is based on my new book that came out on October 1 last year, "Loving What's Next: What You Want Can Be Yours Now."
Today, I am here to ask you, are you willing to let go of what no longer serves you? This is a big one, and this is one you have to learn how to do. This is one of those moments where you meet yourself and get really honest with yourself. Achieving the success that you desire is always much more about what you are willing to let go than what you can do.
It’s true, and I had to learn that. You can always find help with what you can't do, or what you feel like you can't do – it’s everywhere. So, begin by getting honest with yourself. It’s time for what we call in my community: taking honest inventory. Get clear on what is in front of you to do that you are not doing.
Before we get to the doing of it, we have to determine why we aren't doing it - that’s the real work. And it’s always much more about what you are willing to do than what you can do. There are times in my life when I didn’t have the strategies and the know-how to do the things that would get the results I desired, especially early on in the building of the business that now supports and sustains the life I desire to live. Many more times, I had to become the person who could get those results.
I began to hire coaches, teachers, and mentors who could give me what I didn't have, show me, and tell me what I didn't know. Then I realized, there were some things they would give me that I would run with, and some things I wouldn't. I am an action taker, and I’ve learned to be even more so, since discovering the power in taking aligned, inspired action. Yet some strategies and solutions would be right there in front of me. They were clear, they were proven, and still I wasn't doing them.
That's when I had to take honest inventory about what I was willing to do, and where what I was not willing to do was greatly impacting my life. As I grew and transformed, I saw how the work I did with my clients was dependent to a large degree on how I could guide and support them to become the person who gets the results they need and want. I worked with this concept more and more for myself, as I worked more and more on this with my clients.
Along with determining why we aren’t doing those things, what will bring us what we are asking for, we have to become very good at determining why we are doing a lot of other things that are causing us to self-sabotage and derail our results, along with our relationships, our money, our health, and our businesses and careers, until our life feels out of control and not at all what we expected.
Here’s an analogy I share often with my clients: You walk along toward what you desire, and suddenly you come to a wall. You stand there thinking and feeling things, deciding what action to take, and you are stuck. You decide you are not supported in what you want and need. You cannot do this right now, or you cannot do this at all. You start telling a story about how this always happens to you.
You never get a break. Things outside of your control are always in your way. You say, "Maybe another time when I'm feeling better, when I am stronger, when I have more support, when I have more money, when the circumstances are different." But you created these circumstances. Every time you get up and start walking toward what you desire, and you come to this place, the wall will be there. The wall is of your making.
The time you are able to break through what stands in your way and move just a few steps beyond it, you will turn around and find that the wall is gone. It no longer exists, and that wall will never block your path again. There is a Zen proverb that says the obstacle is the path. After experiencing this myself, I’ve gone on to teach my clients and students that whatever you believe is in the way is the way.
Let that land. Whatever you believe is in the way is the way.
Here’s a tool for you. I want you to set some time aside and do this. It’s a tool from my book and my coaching practice. It’s called "Eliminate Your Tolerations." This is an exercise I was asked to do by a coach of mine that I ended up working with for three and a half years. This was early on in my entrepreneurial journey, and this exercise became a very powerful tool for me that I would love to see you utilize as well.
Commit to doing it once, now, and then, add it to your toolbox to use over and over again, at least once a year. I was asked by my coach to make a list of 50 things I am tolerating in my life. Things we tolerate but give attention to use a portion of our vital life force energy. We think and feel about them. We talk about them. We get ready to get ready to do something about them. These tolerations can be large or small in scope. They can be anything from a squeaky door to a toxic relationship and everything in between.
Whatever we focus on persists; where our attention goes, our energy flows. We alert our subconscious mind that this is important, and it sets out to keep bringing it up in front of us to solve the problem. I used to be one to put things off to deal with later so that I could attend to what I considered the most important and pressing matters in front of me.
But when I started using this tool, I saw how much energy was freed up by eliminating these tolerations and how much more ease and swiftness I experienced in creating the things I needed, wanted, and desired. When you are available for things that bother you, frustrate you, anger you, irritate you, and hurt and harm you.
Your energy becomes a match to more of the same. As you give energy and attention to them, they grow and become magnetic. Your emotions are energy in motion. You have energy leaks and energy drains that drag you down and wear you out. It takes a lot of energy to create what you desire.
I learned to use a powerful mantra I will share with you anytime I became aware of something I was allowing myself to be available for that no longer serve me and that I did not want to be available for. And when I saw how it was holding away from me, the very things I needed, wanted, and desired, I began to say to myself and out loud, "I am no longer available for..." And then I would name it.
As this worked better and better for me, I started having my clients do it too. I also am very clear to say "I am available for..." and name it.
So for you, begin by examining what you tolerate. Take honest inventory. Make a list of 50 things you are tolerating in your life. Reach deep and wide. Commit to eliminating your tolerations. Take both baby steps and ledge leaps. Some of these will require only one step, and others will be progress in the making, and they will stretch and grow you
Deciding what you want and creating what you want is just as much about deciding what you are no longer available for and learning how to stop creating what you don't want.
Breathe that in. It’s powerful.
Now, here’s a reflection for you. If you're somewhere where you can’t close your eyes and settle in, you can still listen to this, and you can also come back and use it as a reflection for meditating, journaling, talking about, thinking about – just taking a pause. Why am I creating what I don’t want?
Think about it.
Why am I creating what I don’t want?
That’s a very different question than "Why am I not creating what I want?" For, really, there is no “not creating” about it. You are the creator of your entire life, of your entire experience. Things don't happen to you; they happen through you.
I have always been able to create some things I wanted, but I didn't always understand what I was doing consciously, so I spent a lot of years creating a lot of what I didn’t want as well.
Why am I creating what I don’t want?
Divine Intelligence doesn't listen to your words and obey them. The divine intelligence responds to your vibration, to what you are sending out through your thoughts, which create feelings. And it is your feelings that are magnetic and attract to you a match to what you are sending out.
Imagine that you are sending out to divine intelligence a strong desire for the love of your life. You want it. You know you want it. You are sending this desire out into the universe. Chances are, because you have such strong desire, you also have some resistance to your desire because of your attachment to it, your limiting beliefs, your bad habits and unhealthy patterns, and your toxic emotions.
As you are sending out your desire for the love of your life, you can feel it. You can see it. You have made your list about all the qualities you want it to show up with. You have to be aware of what else is going out in your request, because what you say is, is – that is universal law.
Whatever you say is, is.
Remember that divine intelligence will not impede our free will. Things that might get into the mix could include, “I've been hurt before. I'm afraid to get hurt again.” Or “I think I'm ready to open my heart and my life to someone else, but I'm not sure I'm ready. Am I really ready?”
Unworthiness could be getting broadcast out in your request, along with not good enough, not enough, or fear, doubt, and guilt. The possibilities are endless, and most often we are unconscious of them, and yet they hold so much power in our creating.
Have you made room for your creation to show up? Really, really made room? Divine intelligence responds to a true vacuum and comes in to answer true need. If you are holding on to things and people that no longer serve you, waiting for this new creation of your dreams to show up, it won't.
When it comes to creating, we operate on a continuum of conscious and unconscious creation, and at any given time we can be creating from anywhere along that continuum. If you picture yourself on this continuum with 0% to 100% from unconscious creating to conscious creating, it is beneficial for you to increase your awareness of the energetic dynamic at play here.
How much of the time are you creating consciously? How much of the time are you creating unconsciously, which results in a lot of miscreating and a lot of what you don't want showing up in the process?
Now, how much of the time are you consciously creating, showing up as a co-creative partner with divine intelligence? This results in much more creating what you do want.
How do I become more conscious and create more of what I need, want, and desire?
There are nine universal guiding principles that I have come up with over my own study and experience of decades to say in my life, the way I do my part, and allow divine intelligence to work in my favor. A lot of people simply don't understand what their part is and what the universe's part is, and they either do too much and try to do what is not theirs, or they don't do anything including what is theirs.
Take these in:
Number one, energy flows where attention goes. What we resist persists. Pay close attention to what you are focusing on. What are you thinking about? What are you feeling? How much time are you spending focusing on what you want, and how much time are you spending focusing on what you don't want?
Number two, everything counts. Everything matters. A choice point exists in every moment. Our life is shaped by the series of choices we make along the way. Become more conscious about the choices presented to you. Become more conscious of your ability to choose. This requires a shift of perspective from victim to creator, which is another continuum. This requires taking complete responsibility for all of it. Along the way, you’ll be along the continuum from victim to creator.
Number three, everything is energy. You are an energetic being in energetic exchange with divine intelligence and everyone and everything in the universe. Become more aware of the energy you are directing outward through your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and shift what no longer serves you through your own healing and transformation, to create your extraordinary life.
Learn to work with this. Everything that shows up in your life is there for a reason. You can learn to interpret this, recognize it, heal and clear it, and create life your way. When we begin to dream big dreams, to set intentions and goals for ourselves, when we begin to strive for a more extraordinary life, everything that is not in alignment with that rises up to be healed or transformed.
I call that your stuff coming up. When you step into your intentions, dreams, and goals, your stuff is going to come up. You can choose to heal and clear this so that you can move forward and step out of mediocrity into your most extraordinary expression and experience.
Number five, learn to leave the hows to divine intelligence. Leave the hows to the universe. Get to the essence of what you want. Dream big, see, feel it, live it, love it, be it. Don’t waste your time asking how, how could this possibly happen for me? Don’t let your logical mind take over and try to figure it all out. That will take you right into stories of limitation, scarcity, and lack.
Divine intelligence can create miracles when we move out of the way.
Number six, get out of your head and get out of your stories. We all have created stories we tell others and ourselves that define who we are and what our lives are about. These stories have power over us. They are highly charged with words and emotions. We can become trapped within our stories. Start recognizing what stories you are telling, then stop telling those stories.
Number seven, the laws of the universe are always on. They always exist, just like natural laws, whether you believe in them or not, whether you are actively working with them or not. It is not something you can spend time on here and there and then go right back to your life.
It’s not something you can pay attention to and then not pay attention to and still get consistent results. A common misperception I see people making is that they set aside time to meditate or journal or say their affirmations or attend a workshop or a manifesting circle, and then they step right back into living their life with their limiting beliefs, bad habits, and unhealthy patterns and toxic emotions driving their bus, and then they wonder why divine intelligence is not working in their favor.
Number eight, once you start taking aligned and inspired action, don’t stop. Act, assess, and adjust. Keep going. So many people stop just short of taking action. They hesitate, and then they miss the moment when divine intelligence has stepped in to meet them. You can learn to stay connected to the source creator and to receive inspiration. Then it’s still up to you to act.
Number nine, before the doing comes the being. This one is counterintuitive to a lot of people when they first start working with it. Many people come for help, and they say, tell me what to do, and I’ll do it, if you can guarantee that I’ll get these results. They say that when they have something, then they will do something that will allow them to be something.
It doesn’t work that way. You have to be the thing you want to be first.
You have to be the thing you want to be first. You have to do the things that people like that would do, and then you will have what people like that have. We call this the "Be-Do-Have" principle.
These are my guiding principles. When you apply them, they become more than a way of doing things; they become a way of living, a way of being. The more you learn to work with divine intelligence according to the universal laws, the less action you are required to engage in, you begin to attract everything you need.
Things begin to come together more easily and effortlessly in a way that you know is coming from divine intelligence.
Now, what is the most important thing you need to do? Show up.
This is key. Show up now and at every moment as a ready and willing partner with divine intelligence, excited to co-create. Show up and trust that you already have everything you need.
Show up for yourself.
Now, I want you to be excited about your journey. You notice? I didn’t say "get excited." I said, "be excited." Your journey is now, always. You are on it always happening. We need to stop holding the energy of gonna and getting to something.
Here’s the secret. There’s no failure. There are no mistakes. The more you begin to consciously create, follow the inspiration into aligned, inspired action, the more you learn to act, assess and adjust, and the more you learn to make course corrections that save you a lot of time and energy and save you a lot of pain. Pain happens; suffering is optional.
Helen Keller told us, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." You can walk through life engaged in your own process. You can become more conscious and create more of what you need, want, and desire.
I see the truth that lives within you. I hold the grandest vision of the greatest version of you. I see your gifts, and I see how you are holding yourself back.
Now is the perfect time to create your extraordinary life, to transcend self-imposed limits, and break free from miscreating unconsciously.
You have everything inside of you in this moment that you need.
I had to learn that, too.
There are no failures, no mistakes. You have everything inside of you in this moment that you need. It will stretch and grow you. But it’s still true, you are on your path always, and this is your journey. You get to choose what step you will take next. Your whole life is waiting.
What are you waiting for?
I invite you to explore your own unlimited possibilities. I invite you to take inspired action, to step out of mediocrity, and create your own extraordinary life. I invite you to stay with me in this series and my lovingwhatsnextpodcast.com, and I invite you to find me on social media, on my YouTube, and on my website, michellebarr.com, where I have lots of resources and gifts for you.
Start allowing me to pour into you and start allowing yourself to receive. E. E. Cummings said, "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
I had that for the longest time framed on my wall in every office I ever had, and I had it on a t shirt. It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. Thank you for showing up here today, and I'm excited to get back to you soon with another episode in our It's Yours now Series on my Loving What's Next podcast. Thank you so much, and you can find the book at lovingwhatsnextbook.com. It will take you straight to Amazon. Thank you so much. Make the most of it.